*“…We simply put out the red carpet for whatever [conditions] are arising in the moment and embrace them as they are…beneath the colorations of our likes and dislikes and our expectations for how things should be but aren’t…”
At some point I’m just going to have to “man up”, hold my head up, and walk with my little friend. A little friend named MS. We have a love/hate relationship. Give and take. Sometimes I’m on top and sometimes I’m…not!
I’m slowly learning that we get a long much better when I adapt to its flow, similar to the movie, Just Go with It with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but from the title alone you get the point. On the days I’m too tired to do “xyz” I’ll just accept that and do something else. Or maybe just do it a different way or maybe possibly slower. Adaption is the name of the game. I know I’ve been saying this over and over again. This is just my pep talk to myself!
The local gym offers water aerobics for folks with Multiple Sclerosis. Okay this is one of my all time favorite pass times! In Maryland I use to attend a class that was fabulous. There the instructor had routines with jazzy moves, reminiscent of my club hopping days! At the orientation here in New Orleans the instructor showed me the chair that helps disabled people access the pool. What? I immediately declared that I would not need such a contraption. Perhaps, even a tad bit offended she suggested such a device! (Keep in mind I was already in a wheelchair.) I was too young and could walk …a little. I didn’t even understand how it would work.
Ladies and Gentlemen this is exhibit one- resistance or denial. Call it what you want, but it’s certainly not going with the flow, going with what already is.
There were stairs leading into the deep end. But I wasn’t planning on getting my hair wet. I could tackle those stairs with a moderate amount of help, but they were not an option. You would logically suggest jumping into or sliding into the shallow end. But, my legs aren’t that trustworthy. To sum it up, the first day of class Tommy lowered me into the shallow end. I convinced myself this was different than using that apparatus to put me into the pool.
After a few days of reading my very own words. I read others’ too. I’m not that egotistic. I’m not.
It took the words of a fellow blogger, Robert Parker from, The Gifts of MS, in “A challenge…?” to whip me back into my realty.
“So when my legs quiver at night, when my head hurts, when my muscles ache, instead of lying cold and alone and desperately wishing they’d just go away… I need to walk up to them, and open my hands and my heart, and simply say, “Here I am.”
So, is this my new challenge?
Or is calling it a “challenge” missing the point? Is not the challenge… to not contend?”
Synonyms for contend are compete and assert. It makes no sense to compete with what already is. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2000, It’s about time I learn to adapt!
So with that being said I got on the contraption and said, “Here I am.”