I think one of the facets of multiple sclerosis that has whacked me the hardest is the amount of dependency it thrusts upon me. So now, when I discover outlets that allow me to exercise independence, I am elated!
Last weekend was the first time I have gone to my local park and used my scooter all the way around the jogging track. It was early and cool, so heat and humidity was not a problem. It took my husband and I an hour to finish the entire path, but I felt better for having taken on the challenge of being amongst the healthy in this feeble body of mine. That is obviously the core reason I haven’t been to the park in a long time. Well, that and of course the heat factor. I’ve come to realize there are ways around my limitations if I just show initiative and a little grit.
I was on my scooter but I was still able to convince myself that if I held my stomach in, sat up straight and tried to squeeze my rear end tightly, I was somehow working my core strength. I hope it was an accurate assessment. But nevertheless, I took a huge step in the right direction. I enjoy being outside at the park. I even enjoy being in the company of the walker/runners.
I still may resent them a little bit, but I’m working on that.
We were at the park in the first place for a laughter yoga class, but when I failed to see the group we just kept on going around the track. To be honest I surprised myself. I had no intention of taking on the track in my scooter. Who goes on a track with a scooter? It really sounds pretty silly to me. Unbeknownst to me, my yoga class must have been cancelled because I certainly didn’t see them out there. But I’m glad I didn’t stop looking for a gang of silly people laughing for no reason. Laughter yoga is another little simple pleasure I enjoy, similar to the way we meet here to exchange ideas and best practices.
I can’t help adding that often my husband invites me out to the park to join him for a trip around the track. For some reason he seems to like for me to come along wheelchair or not. But for me, in the past the entire event has left me a bit down. You know because I use to run. I think I told you once I went and saw the group of guys that I used to proudly jog with. It hurt to see them. I was even a bit jealous. I even selfishly told my husband I just couldn’t go anymore. He of course soon stopped going as well. Which made me feel like crap. I had just taken away his bit of respite from caring for me 24 hours a day. You’d think he could just go alone. Except, to make matters worse I shared with him I was kind of scared to be left in the apartment by myself. He can’t win!
But this weekend was different. We both went and I feel like I won a little piece of “us” back.