“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela
Strange how I continue to pray to a God, who has put me or has allowed me to be this way.
I went to my neurologist yesterday, a visit that never offers comforting answers or clever solutions. He does his job. He is a bona fide neurologist. Not God, that’s for sure.
Years ago, when I was first diagnosed, I received an MRI (magnetic resonance image) scan. The MRI is a diagnostic tool used to treat multiple sclerosis. It tells doctors how many lesions or scars you have on your brain (hence multiple). Every time you get a new lesion they proceed to change your medication. I have in turn tried nearly all medications that are offered including chemotherapy.
I nevertheless asked my doctor, “Why have I not had an MRI recently?” (Keep in mind he is the same doctor that already told me, I have too many lesions to count.)
He began explaining that if he did an MRI and it showed new lesions, I’ve already been on all the drugs available. Because of that, there is nothing more they can do for me.
That was hard to hear.
In the past, I would have exclaimed under my breath, “Oh, but you don’t know my God!”
But the truth is neither do I.
I do know however, that through this all, there must be someone greater than myself that has kept me going thus far.