I just heard someone say, intense grief for a loved one subsides a bit, but the sadness never goes away. A person learns to live with it. I could relate.
I carry sadness when I accompany my husband to the park. I go because he likes me to. I never told him how gloomy it leaves me. It’s odd because on one level I enjoy the serenity of the park, but on another it ignites a personal pity party for one.
So it’s safe to say we (sadness & I) go the park together.
I knew it could be a sticky situation. I use to run 2 to 4 miles there. I sort of compare it to Sam Malone (the recovering alcoholic) from Cheers working/owning his own bar. So, on some level I sit at the picnic table with my laptop loaded with Spanish programs and patiently wait for Tommy. I arrive a tad bit sad. I leave proud and very sweaty. This Louisiana humidity does not discriminate. It’s hot and sticky for everybody!
We go shopping but it’s just not the same. My point of view is obstructed and odd. Plus, if I wheel myself, it’s not for long. It’s just too much for my stamina. Just looking through clothes on a rack is cumbersome. One time I even had an accident in a Marshall’s dressing room! Let’s just say I haven’t been back there since. That was rough for the both of us!
Remember my recumbent bike? Well, sadness would accompany me on the bike, but I’m usually too busy trying to keep my heart rate in my target zone for 10 minutes! The point is that’s my workout! 10 minutes. But for that brief time I put on my headphones, iPod and heart rate monitor and sadness fades to black!
Read my happy comments about Spike Lee in a New Orleans Times-Picayuneinterview