My dad, who had a stroke a couple of months ago, shared a card with me that at the time we both could relate to. It said, “Do not worry that you’re not strong enough to make it before you begin. It’s in the journey that God makes you strong”.

The card also reminded me of a fellow MSer I met in passing. The encounter was a long time ago when I was still walking on my own. She was admiring how much physical ability I possessed. Then she lowered her head and confided in me, “Nicole, I can’t even lift myself off the toilet.” I subsequently squeezed her hand, offered a genuine show of support then we exchanged contact info and departed.

Now, years later, as I sit in my scooter I’m probably closer to her than she will ever know. I no longer have her info so I can’t reach out. Besides, what am I going to say? “Hey I can’t lift myself off the toilet anymore either!”

I am always in the toilet

I would’ve never thought I’d be here today. It’s been a long journey, but Tom (my husband) and I have made it through. He hears me racing to the restroom and just meets me there. He saves me from actually having to ask for help. It’s a very humbling experience. Actually, it’s mostly in the mornings that I’m the weakest.

How does one prepare themselves for this?

This journey has made me into a different woman. I’m weaker yet stronger in more ways than one. Somehow my dad, Tom, and I are making it through despite all the wired twists and turns…but certainly not on our own.