“I came very close to not releasing this post, due to its inherent personal and humiliating nature. But at the last minute, I put my big girl panties on and decided just maybe someone could relate and perhaps even empathize.”
This past week we noticed a sudden decline in my health. The things that I had been able to do for a while, I could no longer do! Plus, you remember that entire post about me transiently losing the use of my legs? Well it is still happening. At times I’ve been extremely fatigued while other times I am as normal as I can be.
Now I know what was causing such a dramatic change in my condition. Have you heard of urinary tract infections (UTI) or bladder infections? I don’t tend to experience the typical symptoms of a UTI, instead my MS symptoms just get worse. This means I get extremely fatigued and have more trouble ambulating. The bad part is I know how UTIs affect me, but I totally dropped the ball on this one! I failed to see it coming, even though I was having to use the bathroom four times an hour! Guys, I can barely walk so making it to the bathroom in a timely fashion sometimes just isn’t possible! There were accidents to say the least. I mean embarrassing life changing accidents, as I perceived it.
The one that finally sent me to the doctor occurred at my mother-in-law’s house!!!!! I was mortified! Someone was in the bathroom so I ended up letting lose in my sister-in-law room!! AGHHHHHHHH!
How did I get there? Well, originally I thought I could hold it until the bathroom was free. If I had known Tommy was the one in the bathroom I would have banged on the bathroom door like a mad woman. As it was I didn’t want to make a scene. Ha! So I came up with the bright idea to look for a towel that could possibly intercept the impending flood. I frantically side stepped into his sister’s room. I was cupping myself like I could catch the urine as it flowed like a river out of me! Standing there gripping the wall for balance while holding myself I thought I was going to die of pure shame!
I finally yelled for Tommy. Both him and his sister came running in the room. They both started cleaning up the foul smelling urine.
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered to his sister.
“I’m so sorry.” I managed between sobs.
She smiled and said, “Nicole, I have a 3 year old. This is nothing.” I was immediately relieved but somberly guarded and replied with a half hearted smile. After Tommy had completely fumigated the bedroom and bathroom, he asked me if I wanted to go to the store. I said, “Sure I need to pick up a case of Depends!”
Later when we returned I called my doctor. My mood was slightly lifted as I now had protection and was headed in the right direction. His sister knocked on the door, peeped in again and reassured me everything was okay.
I naively like to think that my mother-in-law didn’t have a clue of what had just taken place!
Sometimes denial works.