A Painful Lesson

It’s funny how our brain can sometimes play serious tricks on us. But there are just a few things we some how need to be reminded of every once in a while. In the midst of a personal pity party that I held just this morning I said to my husband, “I feel like I don’t have purpose.” He responded, “When’s the next time you go to the psychiatrist?”

This particular party was held after I woke up and had no place to be. It dawned on me that nothing seemed to depend on my presence. To be more accurate, I had no job to report to. You see the last career I had I held in high regards. Though I wasn’t a surgeon that saved lives, I took pride in my job. My life revolved around it. I guess I thought it gave me purpose.

Due to Multiple Sclerosis, I was forced to leave my career behind. So where does that leave me? What’s the appropriate amount of time I should bemoan its loss? Because at this point I haven’t worked or driven a car since 2009! You probably know that as I remind us both constantly.

I forgot that though I’ve exited the structured working world, I have still maintained my worth. Thankfully a good friend reminded me of that. Thank God for friends. I totally dismissed the advocacy work I’ve done with the National MS Society. I know I’ve affected lives with them. I also completely overlooked my impact here with this website! Something that started out as a safe place to go and vent has turned into so much more. You move me. You humble me. You give me purpose.

I’ve been taught to shy away from thinking that something outside of myself gives me purpose. Similar to the way I did with my former career.

Thanks for helping me learn that painful lesson.

About Nicole Lemelle

My name is Nicole Lemelle. I am a writer, activist and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. I created My New Normals to educate those who do not understand MS, reassure people with similar plights and inspire everyone to seize command of their lives.