My Bruised Ego

Where I usually sit.

Every now and then my ego/id gets the best of me. When this happens my husband Tommy usually receives the brunt of my aggravation. Sometimes I just want to leave my apartment by myself. Don’t get me wrong I really love my husband but occasionally I just want to be alone! In order to safely accomplish this, I sit outside on our balcony and practice my Spanish or talk on the phone. I guess the common jargon is “me time.”

Well this particular day simply sitting on our balcony wasn’t enough. I wanted to go closer to the pool. When I told Tommy I was going outside to the deck area, instead of him simply saying okay he asked me, “Why?”

I hate the dreaded “Why?”!!

Can I do anything on my own? Am I not a grown 36-year-old woman? But instead of telling him that, I just responded with a snide, “Because that is what I want to do!” I got up, grabbed my purse, phone and walker then closed the door. I tried to slam it, but the door was too heavy! It’s very hard to make a dramatic exit when you’re using a walker. I think he even had to come behind me and shut the door all the way.

See my purse?

I was outside only a minute before I accidentally released the walker and it rolled about six steps away from me. This normally would not be a big deal, but I honestly can’t walk too well or stand for very long without the walker or some other form of support. I managed to take a seat on the cement fairly quickly. The real problem was, “How was I going to get to the walker?” No one else was out there. No one could see me. So, I decided to go for it! I was going to walk to my walker!

On your mark, get set, GO!

Well, it didn’t quite go that way. I was too afraid to try. Besides, this is cement we’re talking about here. Instead, I hesitantly called Tommy on my cell phone to come out to the balcony, so he could at least see me. Okay, here we go again.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!!!!

I took one wobbly step, another to stable myself but lost my balance and I fell straight to the cement. I’m a seasoned faller, so I know how to safeguard myself. Not even my glasses were broken. Just my ego!

I guess I got the brunt of this one!

About Nicole Lemelle

My name is Nicole Lemelle. I am a writer, activist and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. I created My New Normals to educate those who do not understand MS, reassure people with similar plights and inspire everyone to seize command of their lives.