Today, after nearly twelve lonely months apart, my husband is scheduled to join me in New Orleans, Louisiana. This is where we lived prior to Maryland. As it so happens we left New Orleans just before Hurricane Katrina hit. We plan to live here again as husband and wife! I’ve convinced him to leave his secure job in Maryland and join me jobless in New Orleans. That’s bad advice, right? During this economic downturn, I would guess that it is. I still can’t walk or drive. I can no longer work. It’s selfish and risky I know, but in a few weeks I will meet my new norm. I’m ready.
I’ve been researching apartments. We’re going to stick to apartments right now. I don’t think buying and selling two homes in seven years has been very profitable! After all we are not realtors! I found this cute handicap accessible spot that’s really great!
Some people go through tragedies and emerge on the other side saying they are glad they went through it. Well… that’s not me! I can’t stand this disease. I feel like it has robbed me of fundamental aspects of my life. I’m dealing with it, but I truly live with a bit of resentment. I can experience sadness, resentment, pity, joy, gratefulness, and elation all within a span of 10 minutes! I’ve tried to hang on to who I am underneath MS.
Several close friends have told me; that in everything you go through there is a lesson. The goal is to find it and learn from it. If you don’t learn from it, it will relentlessly consistently reappear bigger and stronger.
Sometimes when everything is quiet and I may be alone, I wonder if this is all because I have missed an important lesson along the way. Writing is helping me come to terms with this. Besides, can it get any worse than this? YES!
Well, I have found four things that I have learned through this entire journey. Gosh, I hope these are right because I don’t even want to consider “worse”!
1. The control I speak of losing…no one has. Lives can change in an instant for anyone with or without MS. On a daily basis, most of us lose sight of this. I am just more acutely aware of the possibility of change. In fact, this life-changing situation is merely the most recent loop-hole.
2. Family is everything! I could not have survived this without their support.
3. My life is not as much about this life changing disease as much as my response to it. Don’t let me confuse you. This is something I continually have to remind my self.
4. And, I have the best husband in the entire universe!
WE ARE ACCEPTING, ADAPTING AND MOVING FORWARD …TOGETHER!
Unshakeable tranquility and contentment equals bliss
My name is Nicole Lemelle. I am a writer, activist and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. I created My New Normals to educate those who do not understand MS, reassure people with similar plights and inspire everyone to seize command of their lives. 
Thank you. I have been reading your page all day both my son and I have MS this helps so thank you.
Benny, Wow, thanks for stopping by. I can’t imagine the both of you having it! You should be the one blogging. But if that’s not an option you guys are more than welcome to stop by here anytime, although I release current posts on Tuesdays.
Thank you for sharing your story here. I appreicate you
My husband was diagnosed with MS in 2002 after walking into some brick walls leading to our apartment right outside of BR LSU.
Must be something about LSU. Gotta love it, even if you sometimes literally bleed that purple and gold.
Jessica, What a small world! I release current posts on Tuesdays if you want to stay in touch. Plus, I’m always in BR visiting my parents so maybe we can meet up?
Thank you for your story. I had my first episode and was diagnosed about one month ago. I still have not regained full vision or feeling in my left side. My doctors and I aren’t sure if I will but I am hopeful and prayerful. I’m terrified. I’m in a serious relationship but not married. Now I’m not sure if I should marry or have children. Perhaps it would be selfish to knowingly bring others into what the MS life could become. I’m scared. I’m terrified.
NNN, Honestly, I understand and opted not to have any children, It was an easy decision, because my husband didn’t want any. But now years later, I kinda wish I would have. I post new posts on Tuesdays and would love to have you back.
Thank you for your story, I was just diagnosed with MS on 10/10/12 and it has been a roller coaster with the whole diagnose process and my fiancee getting a new job and moved 1000mi away while I was left to deal with all the wedding plans. Now things have calmed down, I am married to the best man in the world, I love the new place that we moved to, and my symptoms have calmed down. Your story has really inspired me. Thank you.
Christy, Thanks for reading my story. I’m glad it inspired you. Please know that I would love for you to come back as I put out new articles every Tuesday dealing with ups and downs I face daily. So I know you have a lot going on with the move and marriage but I’d love to see you back again.
Nicole you are an excellent writer and I admire your courage and positive attitude. As we journey through this life, we are presented with many challenges and we never know ahead of time what they may be. I pray that God will give you the strength to meet each new challenge head-on, knowing that He is by your side and that you will be able to make each day purposeful. You have found your calling. Your nursing career is not over, for you are now ministering and serving people with medical needs through this blog, and perhaps someday through the recording of all of this in a book. Your experiences and feelings are helping not only those with MS and other disabling diseases, but also the medical profession to have a better understanding and empathy for those in your situation and perhaps find ways to better meet those needs. This bible verse has always given me comfort in difficult situations. I hope it helps you also. “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Nancy, Thanks for stopping by and do Know that I release new posts on Tuesdays. Writing has become a surprising conduit of a host of emotions for me. I really had no idea how many people could relate. I love to see your name again and thanks for the verse.
Hi Nicole – found your site yesterday. I’ve had was diagnosed with RRMS in 1986 and it always saddens me to read testimonies of people with MS. You have a gift fro writing – thank you for sharing and with such candor and sensitivity. I would like to get to know you and maybe have the courage to write my story one day!
Monique, I’m glad you found my site too! Yes, stick with me and I’ll have you writing in no time!
Your story hit home for me. I’m 4 years into the dx and it has been ‘uneventful’ except from the first flare (which is what got me diagnosed). I am sooooo scared of exactly what happened to you. I have been blessed with a few years of near normal life and wonder when the next day will be when I wake up and it all changes.
I appreciate your brutal honesty. I become tired of all the flower-lined stories people share. It does suck and I do get angry, just like you.
Your lessons are ones to live by. You especially have a good point with #1. I have to remember that NO ONE has control.
Best wishes to you.
Cathy, Thanks for reading my story! You know I second that ‘emotion’ just be careful not to stay angry too long or wait for the next miserable thing to happen for too long! Because girl we need to get up and out now while we can. Plus, that miserable thing may not even happen anyway.
Just read your WHOLE STORY. Very good & so very similar to each MS sufferer. It is great that you are able to verbalize YOUR journey so that others who suffer know that they ar bot traveling this road alone. We all do “walk” that same path, some of us with different paths. Each of us has had to adapt to a different world/lifestyle, tweaking as we go. Keep up the good work Nicole telling “our” story.
Kim, Thanks for reading the entire thing. It’s really a pleasure to share.
You are one of the lucky ones your husband sounds amazing and he is lucky to have you to…as you bring so much to his life. You are right good strong family provides security..I’m just grateful that I am one of the lucky ones as well as your husband sounds like my husband’s twin…
Citi, Thanks so much for reading my story!
Nicole
The journey, lessons, on this track r not the easiest to define I must say. Always wanted to be an analysist, but not of me with this DX. Maybe it is my new vocation! lesson being I have a purpose?
Thanx for ur bloggies
c
Angela,
Thanks for reading my story! It feels good to get it out!
I have to blog for you and ME!
Nicole, I enjoyed reading you story and as someone with MS , I can relate to most of what you told… Thank you so much for sharing.. I too miss so much of who I used to be before MS.. and hearing your story along with what I have learned from others with this dreadful disease give me courage daily as reach for that inner strength that will be long for the ride… Not yet a year into my diagnosis, I struggle with denial, fear, anger alot! But knowing that I am not alone… is a big comfort. Look forward to checking out the rest of your site..
Ella, Thanks for reading my story. It’s so great that you are empowering yourself so soon into your diagnosis! I have been up dating the site on Tuesdays. So please come back and check me out!
Nicole
It was really good to read your story and feel your strength. Thank you for reading my words as well. You inspire me to keep writing about my experiences with ms. I hope we can both stay in touch. Talk to you later, Marco
Marco, Thanks. It’s a pleasure to have you drop by. Strength? It depends on the day you catch me!
Nicole
Nicolle,
I came to your website after you victed my blog. Thanks so much for your comment, and for your wonderful writing. Your blog resonates for me in many ways (especially when you write about dealing with not driving and your wonderful husband!) Good luck to you my dear — yes, your friends are right there are many lessons along this journey, and I one that I am learning is simply to pay attention to the details of the day. Not only pay attention to them, but enjoy them!
Let’s stay in touch — and be well!
Linda
http://www.divaonadetour.wordpress.com
Linda,
Thanks, Sooooo many lessons I just can’t keep track of them! I appreciate you stopping by. I’m glad a left a comment for you too! Maybe we can continue to help each other!
Nicole
Well, it is winter here, so can get a bit cold, even in sunny Queensland. How is your summer treating you? Heat can muck with MS. In fact, it was a visit to the tropics (Vanuatu) that made me realize there was something very wrong with the way I was functioning – got of the plane into the heat and humidity and it felt like I had left my legs behind in the overhead locker. They say things can shift in flight. My health certainly did!
Winter. Even the winter here is no comparison to what you got there. But the heat my friend is horrific. I would definitely leave if haven’t tried already and failed horribly. I usually spend the day search for A/C.
Nicole
I am so pleased a friend pointed me here, Nicole. I love your honesty and you are truly a wonderful writer. I’m only six months diagnosed but I guess symptoms for several years. No real ‘lessons’ for me so far apart from ‘shit happens’, but as you say, family becomes so important (not for assistance, just a focus) and material things so unimportant. And I couldn’t agree more or write a more succinct sentence than, “My life is not as much about this life changing disease as much as my response to it.” Best wishes from Australia, Nic.
Ian, I am too! I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed writing until I started blogging. They say your good at the things you enjoy Who knew?
You are ahead of the game. 6 months in and blogging…impressive. I am so excited I’ve reached Australia. What’s the weather like?
The lessons you share can help people with or without MS!
I can’t find the words to articulate how humbled I am by your story Nic. When I find those words I will come back to post. Simply telling you how you have touched my life with your sincere gift of friendship and your selfless acts of encouragement and motivation wouldn’t be enough. I pray for the spirit of peace, the same spirit of peace that never seems to leave you. I thank God that he has sent you to me.You, my friend, have made me a better person. Your ability to inspire and entertain, despite of, is and has been a blessing to everyone who knows you.
You just did my friend. You just did. Nicole
I think you are teaching lessons not just learning them. Sometimes the trials we go thru are to witness to others. You continue to be a testimony….don’t stop! I’ve learned so much from your spirit.
Thanks for taking The time To read!
“The control I speak of losing…No one has.”
True fact, Nicole. For a total control freak, realizing how little control I really had has been a real education. A good lesson, but one I would just as soon have learned another way!
So true!