Today, after nearly twelve lonely months apart, my husband is scheduled to join me in New Orleans, Louisiana. This is where we lived prior to Maryland. As it so happens we left New Orleans just before Hurricane Katrina hit. We plan to live here again as husband and wife! I’ve convinced him to leave his secure job in Maryland and join me jobless in New Orleans. That’s bad advice, right? During this economic downturn, I would guess that it is. I still can’t walk or drive. I can no longer work. It’s selfish and risky I know, but in a few weeks I will meet my new norm. I’m ready.
I’ve been researching apartments. We’re going to stick to apartments right now. I don’t think buying and selling two homes in seven years has been very profitable! After all we are not realtors! I found this cute handicap accessible spot that’s really great!
Some people go through tragedies and emerge on the other side saying they are glad they went through it. Well… that’s not me! I can’t stand this disease. I feel like it has robbed me of fundamental aspects of my life. I’m dealing with it, but I truly live with a bit of resentment. I can experience sadness, resentment, pity, joy, gratefulness, and elation all within a span of 10 minutes! I’ve tried to hang on to who I am underneath MS.
Several close friends have told me; that in everything you go through there is a lesson. The goal is to find it and learn from it. If you don’t learn from it, it will relentlessly consistently reappear bigger and stronger.
Sometimes when everything is quiet and I may be alone, I wonder if this is all because I have missed an important lesson along the way. Writing is helping me come to terms with this. Besides, can it get any worse than this? YES!
Well, I have found four things that I have learned through this entire journey. Gosh, I hope these are right because I don’t even want to consider “worse”!
1. The control I speak of losing…no one has. Lives can change in an instant for anyone with or without MS. On a daily basis, most of us lose sight of this. I am just more acutely aware of the possibility of change. In fact, this life-changing situation is merely the most recent loop-hole.
2. Family is everything! I could not have survived this without their support.
3. My life is not as much about this life changing disease as much as my response to it. Don’t let me confuse you. This is something I continually have to remind my self.
4. And, I have the best husband in the entire universe!
WE ARE ACCEPTING, ADAPTING AND MOVING FORWARD …TOGETHER!